


the words left unsaid

by auficial



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M, joining the angst club but not fully, mentions of sex but no sexual content, more like post angst, tetsu being melodramatic, yeap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 02:50:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2175327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auficial/pseuds/auficial
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Kuroko Tetsuya wanted to see his relationship with Aomine Daiki as some melodramatic, epic tale, there was no one to stop him from doing so.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><br/>His eyes though, his eyes, were the ones that always said, '<i>Please forgive me.</i>'</p>
  <p>And Tetsuya forgave him every single time over.<br/></p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	the words left unsaid

Tetsuya cried sometimes, after sex, when they were together in bed.

Daiki noticed it right away the first time Tetsuya cried but he was hesitant and awkward. His thumbs came up and brushed the salty tracks away as he whispered, "It's okay, it's okay" and gathered Tetsuya in his arms. The wetness touched his collar bones and flowed down to where his heart was nestling in his chest. Tetsuya never made any noise when he cried, just endless water dripping from his eyes until they stop. Daiki could tell when he finally fell asleep because his hands loosened a little from their grip on Daiki's shirt.

In the morning, all Daiki had to prove the tears before was the slight wrinkles in his shirt from Tetsuya's fists and the slight redness of Tetsuya's eyes.

It worried him enough to ask Satsuki about it. " _Hey, it is bad if someone cries after sex?_ " Her reply came back instantly, " _It depends, why?_ " He hesitated once more and finally decided, "Nothing." Satsuki's next reply made his heart warm a little, " _Dai-chan, you can talk to me about anything, you know that. But I think this is something you want to figure out, right?_ " (Sometimes Daiki thought that it was way freaky that Satsuki knew him as well as she did but then he figured that she felt the same way too, so they were even. Besides, he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.)

The next person he could think of was Ryouta because he was one of the few people around Daiki that had a lot of experience when it came to relationships. " _What does it mean if someone cries after sex?_ " Ryouta's reply took a little longer to come but when it arrived, it came in a group of three. " _It probably means the sex is bad, Aominecchi~ >x<]]]_" " _I'm kidding, plsdunkillme~~ ^//^:;_ " " _Maybe because the person is so touched??? I don't know, Aominecchi, it depends! Let's go out sometime!!!_ "

Now Aomine knew who he shouldn't go to for advice and he was most definitely not going out with Kise voluntarily after the blond's reply.

Looking up at the afternoon sky, he wondered how Tetsu was such a good influence on him. (His science teacher nearly had a heart attack when Aomine started attending his classes regularly. It was the same with his English teacher, Japanese teacher, History teacher....) Daiki would never tell but sometimes it felt infinitely better than spending all day sleeping. (Other times though, he really felt like just forcing Tetsu to transfer to Touho just so that idiot could suffer through the exact same thing he was making Daiki go through. Never mind that Tetsu was probably going through the same thing, Daiki just wanted Tetsu by his side. He would never tell though. It was one of those things they both don't talk about.)

If either of them was surprised that Tetsuya was at Touou's gates, none of them showed it on their faces. "Yo, Tetsu," Daiki greeted with a slight smile and an arm slung over Tetsu's shoulder.

"Aomine-kun," Tetsuya replied. No one mentioned that his eyes were tinged pink from the night before and they left the gates behind as they started to walk to Maji Burger. The silence was contemplative but comfortable and Daiki waited. He didn't use to have patience of any kind but being around Tetsu made the silences kind of sacred. There was just something about simply basking in the shorter blue-haired boy's presence that kept Daiki in a silent reverence until the boy himself interrupted it.

They ate lunch together but didn't stay over at either's house that day. There wasn't a particular reason why, it just happened that way.

The next time they had sex, Tetsuya didn't cry but over the next handful of times, he cried once or twice and the pattern continued. After it came to this point, Daiki felt like the time to ask why had already passed and he could no longer do so. He did make an attempt one night when he used a wet cloth to clean both of them up. "Did I hurt you?" he asked softly but his voice ached with a quiet desperation and an urge for reassurance.

Tetsuya looked at him, surprised. "No, Daiki," he replied, just as tenderly, "you didn't." (Daiki wondered why Tetsu only called him by his first name in the dark of the night when they were being intimate while Tetsuya had to bite back the words, " _not today_ ".)

When Daiki fell asleep, Tetsuya traced a finger down one smooth brown cheek and found his cheeks wet again.

 

 

 

Daiki said sorry sometimes, with his body and his expressions, even if he didn't say those words exactly.

Tetsuya knew because he had been looking out for these little signs and signals, almost like an obsession. It had gotten to the point that he couldn't help himself. He would watch Daiki's eyes, his lips, his fingers, his body, his movements, everything. Sometimes he felt his heart clench when Daiki looked at his straight in the eyes like he used to in middle school, fiery and alive once more.

There was one time that Tetsuya will never forget. It was just after their match together with Touou's loss and after a session of Daiki teaching Tetsuya to shoot. They had plans to meet the next day and already said their good byes. Tetsuya was already on his way out of the basketball court when warm fingers enclosed around his wrist. It was Daiki's first sorry. Tetsuya could feel the apology in the gentle press of his fingers, the way they curled loosely enough such that he could easily break out of it if he wanted and the slightest tremble of Daiki's hand.

"Stay," Daiki said, almost like a sigh, "stay with me."

Tetsuya closed his eyes. "Okay," he exhaled with a breath. When Akashi told him he needed to conceal how he felt, he subtly began to apply it to the rest of his life. However, Kuroko Tetsuya was not emotionless. He had wished he was, once upon a time, during the whole Teiko experience. He just became an expert at concealing them. At that very moment, all he wanted to do was bawl out all his frustrations and clung to Daiki for his dear life.

But what he did was smile at the thought of Daiki's distressed face should he do it and held Daiki's hand in his.

That was enough for him now.

" _You should tell him about it,_ " came a text from Satsuki one day. Tetsuya blinked in the sunlight and smoothed his hand through Daiki's hair. The other male was clinging to Tetsuya in his sleep, arms wrapped around him and nose against his rib cage. " _Thank you for the suggestion, Momoi-san._ " He typed that sentence and wondered if he should end it there. After some deliberation, he added, " _But I can't._ "

He went back to sleep after that and it was hours later that he saw her reply, " _You can't or you won't?_ " (He didn't reply that message.)

After a while, he forgot about it. Or rather, he chose not to remember it.

When he told the main members of the Seiren team about the whole Teiko experience, it wasn't like a weight was lifting off his chest. He didn't feel relieved and he didn't even feel like he can properly put it behind him now because it was still a living, pulsing mess of hurt that he only buried deep, deep, deep in the recesses of his soul. It was like revealing a wound you hid from every single person and everyone thought the wound was already healed but actually, it was still wet and bleeding. Not that it no longer hurt but more like he became a master at pretending that it didn't.

Retelling it made the despair and desolation come alive once more and he felt like the way he felt before.

Like he was being held by an invisible force, unable to break out of the grip and struggling and struggling but to no avail. His voice failed him and all he had were mere rasps although all he wanted to was scream at Daiki was walking away from him. He wanted to reach out but his hands were shackled and bound; his whole body frozen and stiff. As he continued to thrash, Daiki was still walking away. " _Look back,_ " Tetsuya yelled mentally, " _look back, please, I beg of you, Daiki, LOOK BACK._ "

Of course, he never did.

It was only when Daiki was a speck in the distance, too far away to ever reach should he sprint that Tetsuya fell to the ground, defeated.

Seirin and Kagami were the hands that pulled him up and had him standing once more, breathed hope into him and made him feel like basketball was life once more. They showed him that basketball wasn't the destruction and cruelty that it was to him then. He wouldn't have it any other way even though just sometimes, he saw the longing in Daiki's eyes that made his heart ache too. Maybe it was just him but he saw the apologies that Daiki never said. It was there in the grip of his hips ' _sorry I never looked back_ ', it was there in the thrusts that slowly gained speed ' _sorry I wasn't there before but I'm here, now, now, now_ ', it was there in the exceedingly gentle and soft kisses to his forehead ' _Tetsu, sorry, I love you, sorry_ '.

His eyes though, his eyes, were the ones that always said, ' _Please forgive me._ '

And Tetsuya forgave him every single time over.

He allowed Daiki another chance, gave him permission to touch Tetsuya and most importantly, simply let him mean something to Tetsuya once more. (Privately, in his head, Tetsuya thought he was being embarrassingly melodramatic but he supposed that's how people dealt with things, especially those important to them- they saw them in their own perspective and colour. He figured if he wanted to see Daiki and himself as tragic lovers torn apart, he could. And if he imagined the apologies and his own forgiveness, that was fine, too. Because it simply felt like he had Daiki back again with him once more and it was glorious.)

 

 

 

One day, Tetsuya cried again.

But there was something different about it. Daiki couldn't tell what it was exactly but when he leaned over Tetsuya after throwing on a shirt and his underwear, he knew it wasn't like the past few times. "Tetsu?" Daiki mumbled, hesitantly, only to freeze in the next moment when Tetsu smiled at him. It was a strange sight, to say the least. The tears left transparent tracks down his cheeks but yet his lips were curved and his eyes shining. "Daiki," Tetsuya dragged him down and joined their lips, just lips pressing against lips. " _Daiki, Daiki, Daiki,_ " he whispered.

"What's gotten into you?" Daiki tried to pull away, starting to get properly freaked out.

Tetsuya let him go but not far, his arms still around Daiki's collar. He laughed. "I knew I should have exploded into my emotional break down all those days ago," Tetsuya teased lightly, "just to see your reaction."

"You know I'm not good at these things," Daiki grumbled with a sheepish look. "Tetsu, hell, I even massaged Satsuki and Kise when you first started crying but they weren't help at all."

Tetsuya let out a surprise bout of laughter and Daiki looked at him warily. "You're never honest with yourself, Daiki," he mumbled softly.

A snort. "Like you are, Tetsu," Daiki grumbled, playfully nibbling his nose.

"That's true," Tetsuya mused.

"That's right," Daiki replied smugly, "I am  _absolute_." (At that moment, Daiki's phone beeped, signifying a message from one Akashi Seijuurou, ' _Daiki, if I'm sneezing at 3 am in the morning, it's probably only you. Did you have a bad dream about me and cursed me out again? Please cease with such actions._ ')

"Daiki," Tetsuya murmured into his shirt.

"Hmm?" he made a noise in return.

"Stay with me."

"You know I will."

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Written because at that point, I wanted membership for the Aokuro angst club. (I don't really think this qualifies but I tried, okay, I tried.) 
> 
> 2\. Shout out to:   
> [Mukashi Mukashi no Kyou no Boku](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfP2uBtmo3o), which I found out about after this fic and it was kind of perfect?! (Well, not exactly BUT THAT AOMINE PART AND TETSU'S TEARS.)  
> [Sorry](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VascyLfpNrI) because Aomine would like to sing it to Tetsu- probably did when they went to karaoke and then Tetsu didn't cry but smiled instead. 
> 
> 3\. I thought it'll be cute to have Aomine panicking (internally) over Tetsu crying. 
> 
> 4\. Aomine ignored Kise for weeks after that and only relented because he wanted to run away from the blond when he saw Kise coming but Kuroko didn't allow him to. 
> 
> 5\. A big part of writing this came from my own experience because I'm an emotional fool who gets too dramatic about things, gosh. 
> 
> 6\. Personally, I really like the word "stay" and all the implications and whatever else. 
> 
> 7\. Oh, I just realized I didn't explain why Tetsu's crying suddenly changed but it just did, okay. (I don't remember but just treat it like the kind of "Oh, I was so silly all this while" kind of tears? Like he realized that he shouldn't be crying about the past anymore. I think?!) 
> 
> 8\. "sorry" was supposed to title before I changed it to this one, which I found slightly more apt, especially with all the other things left unsaid like how they both want to be in the same school. (The working title for this was "two", hahaha, because Temptation's -my other fic- working title was "five one". I am SO creative.)
> 
> 9\. If you think I had no idea what I am writing when I wrote this, you are absolutely right. (There are so many problems about this, I feel. Gah) 
> 
> 10\. To be honest, this is one of those fics of mine that I don't find very good but uploading anyway, mostly because you can't expect quality work from me all the time. (Sorry, it's just not gonna happen. In fact, this batch of fics are the ones I really quite "meh" about and to make up for it, the next batch is gonna be quality fics that I'm proud of.)


End file.
